We Are Together

We Are Together honours those we have lost to suicide in UK universities
and campaigns for positive change in mental health provision.

Phoebe Grime’s Story

Storyteller: Hilary Grime,
Who you have lost: Phoebe Grime,
Their age: 20,
Association: Parent,
Course: Psychology,
University: Newcastle University,
Story: Phoebe was a fun loving, intelligent, funny, courageous and beautiful girl.

Having struggled at the start of the first term at University, Phoebe found her passion for ice hockey and joined the Wildcats Hockey Club. She also rekindled her love for surfing and organised herself so that she could get to the sea with board and kit in a record breaking 20 minutes. Both the Wildcats and the Surf Club offered Phoebe wonderful friendship, solidarity, understanding and passion.  

Unfortunately, Covid struck, Phoebe was confined, like so many to her student house, had lecturers etc online and little interaction with the outside world. She was lonely, found work hard, tried her best to find methods and systems to make herself feel better but it was, for months, a constant struggle. In October 2020, Phoebe was diagnosed with depression.

In April 2021 the family were struck with devastating news that Phoebe’s father, Jeremy, had terminal lung cancer. Unfortunately Phoebe took time out to look after her father and became behind in her work. She was an extremely conscientious worker and this weighed heavily. With extensions on her work until August and her lack of concentration due to her difficulties, it was just another straw.

5 days before Phoebe took her life, her boyfriend was struggling as well to keep positive with Phoebe’s emotional problems and ended the relationship. Devastated by this, heartbroken at the inevitable passing of her father (he died 3 months later), overwhelmed by pressures of work and feeling alone was all too much. Phoebe could ‘no longer bear the pain’.

It feels like every second of every day, I think of Phoebe and, after more than a year, I cannot believe she is no longer with us.

But to try to make change, try to find meaning, help others and live as Phoebe would want me, gets me through the time.

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